Which Pride and Prejudice character are you most like? (PICCIES) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Mr Bennett Very cynical and a bit world-weary, you take delight in mocking people. But you do have a kind heart, deep down inside (very deep, really deep, like Jacques Cousteau deep). Mr Bennett 95% Elizabeth Bennet 85% Mr. Darcy 80% Mr. Collins 80% Mr. Wickham 65% Mary Bennett 65% Charlotte Lucas 55% Lydia Bennett 55% Lady Catherine de Bourgh 55% Kitty Bennett 50% Mr Bingley 45% Mrs Bennett 35% Jane Bennett 20% PS: I had that book in a Franklin Mint edition, but I gave it to my best friend's mom, who is a nutter for anything P&P.  The year the Colin Firth version came out, I read the book 3 times that year.  Absolutely could not get enough of the Georgian soap opera.  It was a refreshing change of pace from E. M. Forster's Euro-weenie angst books A Room With A View and Howard's End.

Pride and Prejudice the hypertext novel online

Sheer Unadulterated Stupidity | News | guardian.co.uk Football   <---click on link

"...so earth-shatteringly earth-shattering that it will shatter your earth."

"this creature's going to smash its way inside your head and trample all other thoughts to death - fast, merciless, gory death. Death, we tell you! Death! Resistance is futile, feeble wretches, because this is a brain monster. And it's coming to get you. Yes, you! Death! Brain Monster! AAARGGGHHHH!"

"more of that Beijing business everyone's banging on about;..."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you ever passed a mirror and started as you saw someone familiar -- but it's you.  Have you ever seen someone who resembles you so much that you have to stop yourself from stopping and staring?  Have you ever shaken hands with a new acquaintance and felt you have already known them. Crazy! Reasonless! Where do you separate concrete knowledge from sensory experience?  You look at something or someone and recognize yourself. It's unsettling to say the least.

The quotes above are from THE FIVER.  I took one look at them and thought I was reading my own writing. But I came back down to earth.  Sadly, I did NOT write it. 

But I could have...

I mean, it looks, sounds like stuff I write, especially the "earth-shattering" stuff.  And the "death" bit, as well.  The "Beijing" comment is a rough, unpolished jewel of understatement.  Wonder if Doyle would have used "banging" in a different tone if England were winning stuff.  Just sayin'... 

{{{Sigh}}} Me. Getting published by an English newspaper.  Ha! Yeah, like that would ever happen. Still, it's nice to see my style being vindicated.

BOOKS I BOUGHT AT THE GOODWILL STORE: (.99 cents each!)

• Penguin Classics CANDIDE by Voltaire
• INTRODUCING CULTURAL STUDIES by Sardar and Van Loon
• THE BOOK ON THE BOOKSHELF by Henry Petroski
• Great Illustrated Classics: TREASURE ISLAND by Robert Louis Stevenson

BOOKS I BOUGHT FROM AMAZON: (considerably more than .99USD but still marked down a lot)

• ACHERON
• BURN NOTICE: THE FIX
• BLOODY CONFUSED: A CLUELESS AMERICAN SPORTSWRITER SEEKS SOLACE IN ENGLISH FOOTBALL

BOOKS I BOUGHT FROM B. DALTON'S (a subsidiary of Barnes & Noble but without the big, fancy store...Dammit!)

• NAUTI DREAMS by Lora Leigh

I will never be rich.  You can see why.  I have a nasty, money-draining habit.  On the bright side, as a writer, I can rationalize just about anything.  For every  book I bring home, I'm going to get rid of one.  That's my mission for the rest of the year.  Buy one -- throw one out or give it away.  I'd prefer to sell it, of course, but I'd need to buy EBAY FOR DUMMIES and that sort of throws a spanner into my mission plan.

When I first heard that ACHERON was coming out, it was 2006.  I had a major thrombo thinking 2 EFFING YEARS! SON OF A MOTHER!  But since two years is a long time, I calmed down and with traditional Catholic suffering stoicism, I waited and waited and waited.  Now it's here and it's too close to school starting back up.  At this point, I'm so blase about it that I've already decided to put off reading it for about a month.  I wish it had come out in June or July so I could have watched my Euro matches then curled up with Ash's long-ass bio. (I'm swearing a lot, aren't I. {{{sigh}}} )  A really great thing about the book is that it's MASSIVE!

I avoided it for a long time, but I finally caved in to buying NAUTI NIGHTS by Lora Leigh.  The cover was so mouthwatering, time and money were no obstacles...It was pretty good but you know me -- I have a couple of issues.  Overusing the word "soul" and phrases that included that word.  However, I liked it enough to buy the newest (but not the last) book of the series (bloody series! Bloody, bloody, bloody! Oooooh swearing again -- naughty!)...but I digress.  So I got through NIGHTS fairly quickly.  Illegal arms sales -- cool.  Snipers and ex-special forces -- WAY cool!  Love scenes -- not cool.  Hot!  Positively gynecological.  With rather lurid descriptions of body fluids.  If you like that sort of thing, I think you'll find it's the sort of thing you'll like.

BURN NOTICE is going into my anti-boredom kit when I go for meetings next week.  For a week before school starts, we are systematically tortured by being forced to sit for hours and listen to massively dull and dull-witted schlemiels prattle on and on ad nauseum.  At the end of it all, you're catatonic from boredom which leaves no room for being nervous about the first days.  You want the students to come in raising hell just for the relief. 

So my anti-boredom kit includes a notebook, couple of pens, book for reading, iPod shuffle, calendar, and a teacher book -- something like Image Grammar or Breaking the Rules.  Two years ago, I wrote 8 pages of my fanfiction story at a district meeting. People thought I was taking notes on the bollocking prat they brought in to "motivate" us.  Excuse me while I die laughing.  The only thing he motivated us to do was jam sharp spikes into our ears to relieve the pain of his sportscentric yammering...

er...so like...Amazon. Right. Okay. They mark their prices down more than Borders and Barnes & Noble.  On large orders, sometimes they will send you some of it for no extra charge.  In 5 years, I've never had any problems buying from them.  They handle returns efficiently and keep you in the loop.  eBay, who prides itself on customer service screwed me on a $10 order.  PayPal screwed me on the same order.  They didn't do anything to help me get my money back and didn't even communicate with me properly regarding the complaint process.  Needless to say, but I'm saying it anyway, when they tout their ripoff-prevention services, I just give them the "V".  So to make a long story short...the end.

...erm...too short?  Well, n-e-hoo, Amazon has always done right by me so I will continue to send them my hard-earned shekels.  eBraying Ass and PayPutz can just piss off.

[MOST OF THE BOOKS MENTIONED ARE AVAILABLE FROM THE MAJOR BOOK RETAILERS.  I JUST HAPPEN TO PREFER AMAZON.]

I had this completely brilliant idea -- as I often do -- to write about books using haiku.  I was inspired by some printouts I found when I was cleaning out my closet.  They were Blackadder Haiku.  And they were so so so hilarious!  Here's the link to Blackadder Haiku: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/8889/haiku.htm   Caveat: it hasn't been updated since 2002. 

Blackadder is the amazing, and amazingly clever tv show about the family line of Blackadders: Prince Edmund, one of the nephews of Richard III (not having been snuffed out in the tower or else there would be no show), Edmund the Elizabethan, and pet courtier of ER1, Edmund the butler of the sockless Prince Regent (Hugh Laurie), and Edmund, an officer in HM's Army during WW1.  (DVDs available from the usual retailers.)

I haven't done a lot of haiku in my time.  But I've grasped the basics.

 _______________________________________________________________________

The Pleasure Dome/Sup's Blackadder Page (last update 2002)

Mr. Bean's Greatest Poems

Books by Dave Morice

www.amazon.com :: http://www.half.ebay.com/ :: www.ebay.com  :: www.betabordersstores.com :: http://www.barnesandnoble.com :: http://www.shelfari.com/o1518324450/shelf

 BOOKAHOLIC HAIKU

Up to my eyebrows

With closets overflowing --

books worth two lifetimes!

The inspiration for this style of post comes from Sasha Cagen's book to-do list: FROM buying our milk TO finding a soul mate, WHAT OUR LISTS REVEAL about us.  Cagen has seen the art in listmaking and addresses the seemingly mindless, trivial task from several psychological angles: memory, compulsion, learning, habits, relationships, emotional states, language, and symbolism.  For reals, y'all. The entire human experience is in there.  So you could read a philosophy book and juggle invisible abstract concepts...or you could read this book and be edified by your own discoveries about human nature. 

I like this book because of the description I just finished.  But I also like it because I'm a sucker for interesting graphic art, with which this book is overflowing. 

Sherlock Holmes Detective Stories by A. Conan Doyle. JH Sears & Co. 1923. This is in dodgy shape. Someone spilled liquid on it back in the day (which was a Wednesday -- if you didn't already know*). Can’t tell if it’s coffee or water. The pages are beautifully aged to a soft, antique golden sepia. The end papers’ design is pillars arranged in gothic layers.

Five detective stories in this collection:

• The Sign of The Four
• A Scandal in Bohemia
• The Ring of Thoth
• A Case of Identity
• The Surgeon of Gaster Fell

Er…what’s a “fell”? If you know, please e-mail me.

I prefer to see Sherlock Holmes on tv than to read the stories. Victorian literature is a chore for me. However, The Ring of Thoth caught my eye as Thoth is a subject I’ve been reading about for a couple of years now. Scholar Patrick Boylan refers to Thoth as “The Hermes of Egypt”. In Egyptian mythology (and Atlantian – his first incarnation), Thoth/Toth is the scribe god and god of wisdom. What I find especially fascinating is the idea that wisdom and writing are deliberately paired like two halves of a whole. Atlantean/Egyptian Thoth was lucky. He was not punished for bringing writing and wisdom to the human race as Hellenic Titan Prometheus was punished for bringing fire to humans.

Egyptology was very popular in the 1920s. If I’m not mistaken, the tomb of King Tutankhamen (sp?) was discovered in or about that decade and influenced popular literature.  And a funny ditty by Steve Martin.

French Thought in The Eighteenth Century: Rousseau/Voltaire/Diderot. Rolland, R. Maurois, A., Herriot, E. Cassell & Co. London: 37-38 St. Andrew’s Hill, Queen Victoria St. EC4. 1953.

It just occurred to me that in high school and college, I loathed preparing bibliographies. The order of information was unmemorizable. This was a decade before public access Internet. Not only, but also, I hated writing book reports. I was a lazy writer. So $# years later, what am I doing? Writing frikkin’ book reports FOR FUN. Life makes less and less sense. On the bright side, less pressure to take things seriously.

I bought this book at Half-Price Books on Broadway in San Antonio -- 1987, I think. Since it was printed in England, it has no ISBN. I would read it at work. It’s a very fulfilling read. It fed my curiosity. It explained several buzzwords associated with philosophy in clear English. The ideas explained within enhanced my understanding of numerous artistic, literary and philosophical concepts. Why Rousseau, Voltaire, and Diderot? Geoffrey Brereton writes in his introduction:

"These three men tower above their contemporaries, yet represent in their different ways all the main characteristics of the age."

According to this book, the chief legacies of the 18th century to the 19th and 20th were:

• The concept of freedom… liberté
• The concept of equality… égalité
• The principle of tolerance… tolérance f.
• The principle of pacifism… pacifisme
• The idea of progress... progrès m.

Does that ROCK or what!!! I love this book. I return to it occasionally and read parts. My favorite is the story of Rousseau, who brought us the idea of the “noble savage”. It’s a simple enough idea in that man in his natural state (i.e. country living) is innately honest, uncorrupted and happier in his lifestyle than an artificial man surrounded by and responsible for material possessions. That idea inspired Edgar Rice Burroughs to write the “Tarzan” stories. Rousseau’s writings inspired Count Leo Tolstoi to work in the fields alongside his peasants. Even Goethe and Schiller were fond of R’s ideas. (A German own-goal in the great philosopher soccer game of life!) R. was the French Thoreau. His Rệveries are France’s Walden with some Leaves of Grass tossed in.

R’s greatest, most indispensable influence was the Roman historian Plutarch, author of biographies of Roman political figures. Kinda like Nick Hornby is to me.

It’s incredible that one philosopher influenced other philosophers in such diverse countries as Germany, France, America, England, and Russia. It lends weight to my belief that everyone, regardless of where they come from, connects with the same wisdom eventually.

The Bruce's Song, verse 1

The Bruce's Song, verse 2 -- Check out Steve's 2 extra verses in the comments!!! Completely and utterly BRILLIANT.

Dane Cook -- a comedian who keeps his handsomeness on the down-low

This is the next bit in my fledgling BOOK-READERS' BOOKS series.  Series seems to be a theme -- quite unintentionally.  Still, with a generation starved of connections to the past, series books are a good way to make connections.  That's one thing I've always found massively boring about uber-modernists (I'm not calling them "thinkers", mind you.) is that they think ALL connections to the past are pointless.  Relationships with the past are critical to one's psyche.  I guess "foundation" is just something that happens to other people.

Anyway, enough banter. Books, yeah, let's go...

The Latin Poets. Godolphin, ed. Random House The Modern Library. 1949. Bennett Cerf was one of the owners of TML. How did I end up with 2 copies of this book?  I really need to catalogue this stuff.  This is a fantastic portable reader. Many of the translations are by giants in the field of writing: John Dryden translating some Eclogues of Virgil; Leigh Hunt translating Catallus’s Atys: John Milton translating Horace’s To Pyrrha. Selections from 18 Latin poets are presented in English verse trans. only. It’s rare that I say this, but I like the introduction. Godolphin wrote a description of each poet. This really helped me to, first of all, tell them apart. Second, he managed to combine biography, sociology and literary criticism in each mini-essay. Wonderful!

I’d been interested in Classical Latin and Greek because I love mythology, and one day I hope to atone for this incredibly crap research paper I wrote in Freshman Comp about Greek philosophers. But I saw this movie called Never Been Kissed with Drew Barrymore and Michael Vartan. Her character was talking about how Shakespeare drew ideas for his plays from the Eclogues of Virgil.  Vartan’s character, the teacher, freaked out at hearing language like that from a “teenager” in a public school. I’m a teacher, and I get freaked out when one of my students has an idea that involves words of 3 or more syllables. So his shock is my shock.

The New Hudson Shakespeare. The Merchant of Venice. Henry Norman Hudson, LLD. The Aetheneum Press. 1906. This edition spent time at the Morningside Meadows Library and belonged to a Miss Ella Mae of Yoakum, Texas during 1918-1919, and a Miss Evangeline of Hays St. who penciled in notes throughout the book and filled the back end papers with doodles, questions, lists and comments. There’s even bits of spilled fountain pen ink. This is a book that got used!

It has extensive annotations at the page bottoms as well as tons of student material – at the beginning of the book where I like it. Nine chapters of scholarly material. The Chronological Chart is the BEST part. It’s absolutely magnificently organized. (Sorry, too much Charlie and Lola.) As it traces the publication of the plays, it correspondingly traces Shakespeare’s major life events, what was going on in other European literature, and history/biography of major personages of the times. It’s a masterpiece of brevity and organization combined. As someone who designs databases for fun, it was art to my eyes. Good-ish index to particular words at the end.  Miss Evangeline marked the lines she had to learn. She surrounded the lines with parentheses and wrote “learn” beside them.

The original wording from the Roberts Quarto of 1600.

The London Book of English Prose. Selected and ordered by Herbert Read and Bonamy Dobree. Macmillan Co. 1949. Printed in GB. I really like that this book has a chronological list of authors at the beginning. The organization is also helpful.

Ch. 1 – Narrative: story-telling, history, autobio & journals, bio & characters, letters.

Ch. 2 – Scientific: 8 sections including sport, criticism, strategy & tactics, and natural science.

Ch. 3 – Emotive: 8 sections including Pathos, Comedy, Oratory, and “Occasional Writing”. And then an index of authors.

The organization alone teaches much about what writing is and the possibilities available to a student if they will just try something. While I enjoy reading this book, I’m aware that the English is inescapably stolid. This classically-trained artistry has fallen out of favor in public schools. I know a lot of teachers of English/Language Arts who would not be able to handle this elevated style of language for the sad reason that they themselves are not literary. And so they fall back on whatever has a movie attached to it. Shame, really.

ELIZABETH LOWELL'S MACKENZIE-BLACKTHORN SERIES -- EARLY 90s
Books in Exile
July 23 11:49 AM

A series of Silhouette Desire novelettes. Modern-day western romance. Men are men and sheep are nervous.

DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY IT?
Books in The Bedroom
July 22 11:45 AM

Book shopping. No instant satisfaction here.

ACHERON: HALF-MAN, HALF-GOD, TWICE-BORN, ALL-CURSED
Romance
July 21 1:32 PM

An acclaimed romance series.  A hotly desired anti-hero with a book to match. 

HEAPIN' HELPIN' OF OLDIES BUT GOODIES
Books in Exile
July 20 10:05 PM

Books that make life worth living.  Book-nerd Central.

ELIZABETH LOWELL'S "ONLY" SERIES -- EARLY 90s
Books in Exile
July 11 6:25 PM

Excellent western romances. Some of the best of their kind.

PRE-ORDERS: ACTION/ADVENTURE
Books
July 07 7:28 PM

More populist fare. Soccer and spies.  An irresistible combination.

Comments: 1

AUTHORS ON MY SHELF VIA SHELFARI
Roundup Post
June 29 9:54 PM

VISITATION, WELCOME CTY., N. CAROLINA: SUBTLETY IS THE HARDEST THING.
Romance
June 27 1:02 PM

Lighthearted, happy, hey-nonny-nonny romances with mildly edgy plots.

TREK MI Q'AN -- IT'S LIKE, OUT THERE, MAN; CLOTHES OPTIONAL
Romance
June 23 10:50 PM

Sex in Space.  Well, what else is there to do?

Comments: 1

EURO8 WITHOUT PITY
Roundup Post
June 16 1:27 PM

Rehashing my soccer-oriented posts.  George Weah.  The Fiver.

PICKLED HERRING & VODKA FOR TWO
Games
June 13 9:12 PM

Apparently, I'm a good match for a Swede.  Just my luck I'm stuck in the dustbowl of the Texas border plains where men get pickled and fish get mounted.

I AM CURIOUS ORANGE -- LIKE CLOCKWORK
Games
June 12 9:51 PM

Mumska, Jog förstår inte!

Comments: 1

WHAT'S IN A NAME? HISTORY, IDENTITY & SOUL
Travel
June 06 3:36 PM

Most days, I'd rather be in England.

		There's no story for the third Blackthorn brother, Utah.

*****SPOILERS****SPOILERS*****

Just a note to the sisterhood of serious collectors: none of the covers pictured above are the original covers except for Outlaw.  That's a black-haired Fabio on the cover, btw.  It took me the better part of a year and a lot of driving around San Antonio to find original editions of the books. A first edition Silhouette Desire of Warrior I found on eBay just last year.  The rest I found at Half-Price Books and local used book sales back in the 90s.  So for about 4 years, I was steeping myself in westerns.  And I learned a lot about the lifestyle.  A bit like Little House on The Prairie with an adult conscience.

It's been over 15 years since the first one, Reckless Love came out and first covers are getting harder and harder to find. F&R, Outlaw, Granite Man and Warrior all started out as Silhouette Desire romances.  RL was a Harlequin Historical in its first incarnation. With the exception of Outlaw and Warrior, all the heroes were verbally and emotionally abusive to the heroines.  Unnecessarily so.  It's a trait of this genre that it can't quite shake off. 

Here's an excerpt from EL's author site: (basically a repeat of what I wrote.)

MacKenzie-Blackthorn

Reckless Love - HH #38 (1990)
Fire And Rain - SD #546 (1990)
Outlaw - SD #624 (1991)
Granite Man - SD #625 (1991)
Warrior - SD #631 (1991)

What makes these books keepers is that they are very atmospheric.  Lowell really excels at westerns.  Her writing shows an understanding of just how grueling day to day living is on a ranch.  I especially love the tracking scenes which feature prominently in RL and W.  The banter between ranch hands -- Nora Roberts, Danielle Steele, Judith Krantz could never do that.  Lowell is totally committed to her characters. 

There are sometimes bits that strike the ear as a bit off-key, like when Lowell tries to write witty banter.  It just doesn't come off well.  There were a few moments in GM where Mariah is speaking and the character is supposed to be witty, but her dialogue ends up sounding like an approximation of wit, instead of genuine wit.  Well, I think I've said this before -- one writer can't be good at everything.  The heroes -- I just want to knock their heads together through most of the book.  So self-absorbed.  Stubborness without reason or moderation.  Cruel, even.  Cash McQueen (GM), especially.  What an asshole!  There's absolutely no reason on earth for Mariah to fall in love with him.  This particularly abusive relationship is a throwback to the 1970s/Mr. Rochester mold of male.  It's hard to relax and enjoy the story when you're so pissed off at the hero.  Luke (F&R) is another asshole -- not as bad as Cash, but cut from the same cloth.  And Cash plays yenta for his sister Carla and Luke.  Crazy!

Here's the immediate family tree:

• Luke and Mariah MacKenzie, brother and sister, are descendants of the MacKenzies of RL.
• Luke's distant cousins are brothers Tennesee (Outlaw) and Nevada (Warrior).  There's a third brother, Utah, whom they mention, but there's no book for him. (Fans of this series, I'm positive, are still crying about that.  I know I am!)
• Luke's wife, Carla McQueen MacKenzie has a brother -- Alexander "Cash" McQueen.
• Luke's sister, Mariah, is married to Carla's brother Cash.
• Tennessee and Nevada marry girls from out of town.

*Case MacKenzie, a character mentioned sporadically in RL is not related to Case Maxwell of Winter Fire even though their personalities and back stories are similar.

**Several sequel clues appear in the M-B stories.  They are scattered like a trail of rather tall, muscular breadcrumbs.

***Thanks to Shelfari I was able to find some of the older covers.

According to Lowell's forum, by her own admission, she has put westerns behind her. And she seems a bit cheesed-

off that people keep writing to ask about a book for Utah Blackthorne.  So to save you some embarassment, here's the final word: THERE WILL BE NO BOOK FOR UTAH. EL has moved on to other interests.

I gone and done it again. My shelves and closets are overflowing. My home is a fire trap.  This is getting ridiculous.  But there is a bright side.  I'm actually going through my boxes and getting rid of the deadwood.  Dead wood!! Geddit?

N-e-hoo, been waiting for DS and PiTN for EVER!  And what happens? The quality of writing in these books catapulted me into Siskel&Ebert mode.  For every positive, there's a negative.  I guess that's just life, innit.

Dangerous Secrets by Lisa Marie Rice:

Love, love, love this writer.  Her writing in this particular book is hermaphroditic.  (Yeah, I said that!  I'm controversial.)  She writes love scenes like a woman writer and action scenes like a male writer.  I really dig that.  This story is the result of a lot of research you can tell.  It's a lot like Burn Notice or JAG or NCIS or The Unit, or even that new sniper drama Flashpoint.  It's all about the intel. 

The romantic/love scenes are pretty good. There's one or two drawn-out ones and a couple of rushed ones.  Rushed love scenes are a standard in Rice's romances.  A lot of the story is told from the hero's point of view, which is a relatively new development -- dating from about the late 70s/early 80s.  I like that both the hero/heroine express reservations about getting involved and how difficult it is to stay uninvolved, but there's too much "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" and I don't find that romantic when it happens so often.  There needs to be a logical balance of wham bam moments and drawn-out moments -- variety is the spice of life after all.  And this whole thing that the heroines "don't want or need foreplay"?  WTF?  Are we regressing back to the pre-Kinsey Report days?  It makes me wonder if maybe a man isn't writing this book after all.  To be fair, though, the romantic scenes are VERY romantic.  Very up close and personal, as if you're standing in the same room with them.  That's good writing.

One of the best things about this story is the villain -- Vassily Worontzoff.  He would make a great Bond villain.  His character is so vivid that everyone else in the story pales significantly.  This is the "writing like a man" part.  And speaking of parts: Steiner 8x30 tactical binoculars, zeks, gulags, Tupolev Tu-154 aircraft, Russian organized crime, Sacra Corona Unita, European literary awards.  Fuggedaboutit. I'm hooked already.  What really cracks me up about this story is the product placement: diet Coke, Bang & Olufsen.  Hee!  Someone's been reading Soldier of Fortune magazine.  I mean, Wartsila-Sulzer RTA96-C turbocharged two-stroke diesel engine.  I have no effing idea what that is but it sounds so cool!  It's almost like this book is designed for men -- to make them take romance novels seriously.  If a writer can do that -- more power to'em sister-woman!

Phantom in The Night by Sherrilyn Kenyon:

Yay! The BADs are back! These are the FUN ass-kickin' secret agents, as opposed to the morose, depressing, take-themselves-WAY-too-seriously Tempting SEALs.  (Ian, Reno, Macey, Clint, Kell -- you know I adore you guyz but jeez, lighten up a little :D ). 

So this agent is Terri Mitchell.  She has an axe to grind, which is what BAD wants in its agents.  I especially love the way Kenyon arranges for Terri to meet the man of her dreams -- his twin is dead and Terri is the agent on scene checking out the body.  Kenyon describes Terri's reaction to the dead body and yummily describes how good-looking he was (shades of necrophilia, anyone?).  So the reader experiences the suspense of Terri coming into contact with the gorgeous twin but she never can see his face for about half the book.  And we readers are on pins and needles because we know what a treat she's in for when he finally reveals himself.  But it takes for-effing-EVER.  That is some brave risk-taking in a romance novel. I absolutely love it. It's a crime drama with sex, except good.  It's not romantic, unfortunately. Oh well, one book can't be everything to everybody. 

On the whole, it's got great writing.  Kenyon is flexing and stretching her writing muscles.  That's mainly why I like it.

****CONTAINS SPOILERS****

****CONTAINS SPOILERS****

For romance readers, the DarkHunter saga is our Star Trek.  Our Star Wars.  Our Ring Cycle.  Harry Potter for adults.  Shoot, it's even our Magnificent Seven!  And in August, the capo di tutti cappi of the DHs is going to finally be exposed in all his incarnations.  DH lovers have been salivating, nee slobbering (myself included) over Acheron ever since he appeared in Fantasy Lover. 

Acheron Parthenopaeus is 11,000 years old. And he's royalty from Atlantis!! How freaking cool is that! The phrase "been there, done that, got the toga" was coined for him.  He's so old, he has sex infrequently -- 1 word/not 2.  He's so old, he doesn't have crows' feet, he's got eagle's wings.  He says he's 11,000 but since he was born on February 29th BBBBC, he's really only 3½ thousand years old.  And frankly, he doesn't look a century over 5,000.  He still has the tips he made at the Last Supper!  He knew Venus de Milo when she had BOTH arms.  He never goes out with girls his age -- there aren't any!  He remembers when the Dead Sea was only sick!  He can kick the Olympians's asses any day of the week with only the air displaced from blinking.  He gave the Scandinavian gods the idea to name the days after themselves, just to piss off the Olympians.  He goes surfing with a Sumerian god.  Walk on water? He invented water! God calls HIM for background checks.  One more rebirth and he'll be tied with Hermes, the Greek messenger god.

And talking about the old days for Ash?  "Hey, remember that time that orange ball came up for the first time? I finally stopped tripping on stuff." "Remember when that fish turned into a frog? That was cool." "The blizzards that time? That's where having a dragon as a house pet comes in handy."

The inspiration for the look of Acheron, the author's own design, is an Australian actor named Travis Fimmel.  He's breathtakingly  gorgeous -- a divine physique with gem-like blue-green eyes, super-thick blonde hair, luscious lips that curl into a sweet smile.  I could go on and on but the drool would short out my keyboard.  Kenyon first mentions him in DANCE WITH THE DEVIL (Zarek's story).  That was my first DH novel.  After that, I read another -- loved it.  Then another mentioned Travis...then another.  By my third novel, it had gone beyond Travis and I was utterly hooked on the DH world.  Strong men and strong women, fighting side by side, battles of wits and wills.  Magnificent!!

Threaded through all of them was the presence of Acheron.  He's a best friend, a father-figure, the annoying cousin you only see at holidays and funerals.  Your boss after a bad golf game.  The evil dentist in Marathon Man, but without the whimsical charm.  The goth loner on campus.  Flame and hail.  Hellfire and all-encompassing love.  He's so powerful, it takes 2 books to capture his essence. 

He's cursed because, unlike the other gods, he lived as a human for his first 18 or so years.  Gods don't fathom humans.  They are simply a more fun species of animal.  But Acheron lived as a human, so as a god, he has a soft spot for us.  That puts him at a disadvantage because it gets used against him all the time -- even though, as an Atlantian god of apocalyptic destruction, he could take out any Greek or Roman god you throw at him.  He tries to temper his true nature, but certain practices must be seen to if he wants to hang on to his compassionate side.  Certain practices that involve a bitchy, red-haired "heifer goddess" named Artemis, Greek goddess of the hunt, and apparently, of intrigue.  She pulls his strings and makes it hurt.

I don't know what's in store for Acheron after his book, but I'm thinking the DH saga might be played out and Kenyon might be moving on to other gods she has developed, like Savitar maybe.  That's fine with me.  Series do need to end sometime.  With 25 books in the DH series, I sure don't feel cheated.  This has been one of the greatest series in the history of romance novels.

Dark Hunters Reading Order -- Excerpt

1. Fantasy Lover, (St. Martin's Paperbacks, 2002)

2. "The Beginning", also in the back of Sins of the Night (St. Martin's Paperbacks, 2002)

3. Dragonswan, reprinted singly by Berkley (2005) (ISBN 0515140791)

4. Night Pleasures, (St. Martin's Paperbacks, 2002)

5. Night Embrace, (St. Martin's Paperbacks, 2003) (ISBN 0-31298-482-0)

There are currently 24 stories; ACHERON makes 25 -- maybe 26 because it's 2 novels incorporating his human life and his life as an Atlantean god.

If you're looking for accounts of Atlantean civilization, there's Timaeus and Critias and The Atlantis Dialogue: Plato's Original Story of the Lost City, Continent, Empire, Civilization, both written by Plato.

"Dark Hunters: Mad, Bad & Immortal"

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Travis Fimmel links:

• www.SurferDudeTheMovie.com
• http://www.travis-fimmel.com/
• Travis @ IMDB
• Very good TF Forum
• DVD Restraint (2005)

Er...have you noticed that I tend to write about books en masse?  I haven't been blogging about a book, but whole bunches of books, especially since I figured out how to use the table tool,   Let's face it, I have craploads of books laying about the place.  And I get fixated on series of one sort or another.  I've been through an Agatha Christie phase; bought a bunch of those.  The opera comic books.  The romance collections. My Blooms.  You get the idea.  There's very few areas of life in which I excel, but I have to say reading and collecting books are a couple of them.  I'm no Nietzsche -- I have a life outside the covers -- but what could I do?  I didn't chose to be bookish -- it chose me.  And I was savvy enough to cultivate it. 

These are some of my antique books -- old-fashioned book-readers' books: compact, hard covers perfect for carrying about in a purse or coat pocket.  I love the portability of these books. I love the earthy scent of musty closets that clings stubbornly to the pages.  Books that are designed to be companions.  Most of them I found at Half-Price Books in San Antonio or at library sales or charity sales.  Within 2 years of living in San Antonio, I knew every bookstore and sale in town.  Aye, it were good days, them; broke, but good.

[I'm not going to link them because they are so old and readily available from just about anywhere.]

1.     Selected Plays of Shakespeare, vol. 2; American Bk Co., 1937.  It has everything I love in a Shakespeare book: woodcut illustrations, a glossary, "Dramatis Personae", the letters a and e squashed together (that and umlauts send me into a swoon!), and handwritten notes from previous owner. The end papers have a map of Shakespeare's England.  In an upper corner, a previous owner wrote in blue fountain pen notes about "Romeo and Juliet": 120 - to earth doth; 119 - parting; 121 - fickle love; 132 - love moderately; 175 - no law for poor.

2.  The Arden Shakespeare: Troilus and Cressida. DCHeath & Co. 1932.  San Antonio Library 822.33.  It still has the checkout card and pocket inside the cover.  It has pencil markings from a student -- checks marks, underlining, and a note on p. 25: They see a machine but do not realize or understand he {killech has canceimed is} (sic). At the back, there's appendices: Summaries and Notes, Glossary, and Bibliography. 

3.  The Yale Shakespeare: King John.  Yale University Press.  1927.  Inside the front cover is an old bookplate with the name of an owner: I. Cordray.   Sweet.  The series page has what I think is the logo of Yale University -- an open book with Hebrew words.  Under it is a banner with "Lux et Veritas", Latin for light and truth.  So I'm guessing that the Hebrew words express the same thing.  The page before the DP is a facsimile of the original 1623 folio.  That is so cool!  That design and wording is the basis of the Blackadder Season 2 titles.  The titles are based on Jane Austen, but the artwork and credits are based on the DP and this --->. In fact, the font I used is called Blackadder. Edition contains mostly scholars' notes and awkward glossary.

4.  The First Part of King Henry the Fourth.  George Lyman Kittredge, ed.  The Aetheneum Press.  1940.  Kittredge is/was  a world-renowned Shakespeare scholar.  There is the ubiquitous scholar's introduction to this pet project and a thorough set of research notes at the end.  A "Glossorial Index" (why not just say Glossary?)   This one also has markings from student use.  The student wrote 2 exclamation points by this bit by Falstaff:

I must give over this life, and I will give it over! 

But the Lord, an I do not, I am a villain! 

I'll be damn'd for never a king's son in Christendom.

So Falstaff is in a bit of a strop -- again.  You know what he's like when he drinks.

5.  The Arden Shakespeare: Macbeth.  DCHeath & Co. 1915.  This one is an archeological treasure.  Markings everywhere. The pocket from the old San Antonio library still on it as well as a stamp from Morningside Meadows Library.  Besides the libraries, it's had at least 6 owners.  3 erased, 1 blacked out, 1 in pencil, and 1 written in fountain pen.  Not in any particular order: Mr. H. Traupmann of W. Gramercy Pl., Mr. H. Heaslet of Palo Blanco St. (Adv. 208?), Mr. Ed M. (Adv. 208?), Ms. A. Burke of Beck Ave. (Adv. 311?), and Mr. R. Milam.   The title page has notes listed:

Temptations

1. M's ambition
2. Weakness of king
3. Condition of country
4. M's victory
5. Prophecy
6. Partial fulfillment of prophecy
7. King names his son Prince of C (sic)
8. King visits Macbeth
9. Lady M's influence

Here endeth Part the First

To be continued hence and forthwith

With due diligence...